How to See Differently? I

 Have you ever considered that we are giving away our power by blaming others? Let's hear what Dr Bob has to say on this concept:

... Of course, we want to escape all disapproval. Now if you want to see a real gymnastic, mental thing, you walk up and disapprove of someone - not them as a person, but something they have done or something they are doing or some idea they’re thinking on or some activity they’re indulged in. And you disapprove of them and see how quick they’re on the defensive. They start defending themselves mightily. 

Now, of course, most people feel that being blamed or disapproved of is a slur. Is that the way you generally see it that somebody come up and they’re puttin’ you down, is that right? 

Now if I blamed you for something, am I putting you down or am I assigning great power to you? I’m assigning and saying the fact that you have tremendous power, is that right?

If I say you made me miserable…

(Oh, yes.)

… haven’t I said you have tremendous power over me? So it really is a compliment, isn’t it? (Laughter) You see, we’re so funny we can’t recognize a compliment when it comes by. 

Well, they’ve assigned me great power.  I’m going to accept it. And I will say “Thank you and you should see what I have planned for you next week.” (more laughter)

Now what are they gonna do about it?  Now immediately they will start trying to take the power away from me ‘cause you see they thought they was puttin’ me down too. But when they saw all through the joke and started accepting what they were giving me and the compliment and they’re saying 'I’m a powerful person. I can control your inner state,' hmm? Is that a tremendous compliment? 

Now this is what we mean by beginning to see a little differently. Now you’ve seen all your life that if somebody said, “You gave me a pain in the neck,” or elsewhere, then immediately you felt you had to defend yourself that you didn’t do it, is that right? Now they were trying to give you power all your days, hmm, and you turned it down?

A husband says to his wife, “You just bore me.” So what? He’s giving her tremendous power. He said you have control to make me interested or make me bored or anything else, huh? Right You gonna defend yourself from that or are you gonna say, “Sure I do. I can bore you this week, and I can torment you next week. I have full control over you.” 

(According to him, yeah.)

You’re catchin’ on. You’re finally catchin’ on you say to him, “Sure, I’m catchin’ on. I got power.”  

Now then, you see, you begin to see a little different - you’re taking charge of your own inner feeling instead of throwin’ it out here and leavin’ it to the tender mercy’s of whoever wants to bother with it, is that right? Huh? Would you ever turn down anybody blaming you anymore, would you accept it?  

(I think it’s always that initial emotional-)

No, that’s only because you want to escape all this. (indicating Four Dual Basic Urges)

(That’s right.)

And you’ve had that since infancy. You never re-evaluated it. Now that is not the way to live...

Dr Robert Rhondell Gibson 

For full discussion please refer to "talk 7 14 79" cd 1 (ARK)