In a nutshell:
"just stand off and watch that there is at least two ways of arguments about almost anything you do."
Recently it dawned on me that I'm most of the time in conflict yet hardly ever call it by its proper name, and unfortunately it is very misleading and harmful to describe it anything but inner turmoil- inner conflict. Another "human nature" issue, something taken for granted or unquestioned, denied, ignored, or justified under different names...
In below excerpt Dr Bob explains how we approach conflict and what really goes on internally. He starts the discussion with a very common yet unconscious belief.*
“I” don’t believe that there are many “I’s” – each with a will – each trying to run the entire household called “self” – that this household is usually in conflict…. "
You don’t even believe that even though you notice it once in a while. You don’t believe it is most of the time – it’s just once in a while, isn’t it?
(That’s a problem for getting things squared away.)
Yeah, just a little conflict here and there, but it’s really conflict all the time. [he continues with the quote]
"…and is in an inward state of disintegration which will sooner or later be expressed externally."
In other words, you’ll see the body start getting aged and falling apart so forth after a while. Most of us try to convince ourselves that we are not in conflict – only just once in a while, isn’t it? Now and then something goes haywire, but most of the time one of the not-I’s says, “We’re doing pretty good, aren’t we, Joanie? It’s just now and then when somebody misbehaves that upsets me,” hmm?
(Bob… Elaborate on that a little bit, will you, somehow?)
I’ll try to do it.
(How can you…. Don’t you feel all your conflicts?)
Oh, no, you can keep a lot of it buried and you can at least keep yourself distracted, so you don’t really aware of it. Mm-hmm.
(Is there a not–?)
The favorite indoor sport of the human race.
(That means then the not-I’s up all the time?)
Oh, one or more is up and one of ‘em says, “Why, we are not having any conflict." I've got ‘em all pushed down there. But there’s one down there’s _____, waitin’ for their chance to come. And you really are in conflict most of the time.
(Like 99 and 9/10th percent of the time?)
Yes. 99 and 9/10th plus percent.
(You’re talkin’ about all the thoughts.)
Yeah, most of us are in conflict. One runs by and then one comes right behind it. Another one down there says, “I am gonna get him.” So one says, “Paint the house pink,” and one says, “Paint it in blue,” don't they, Rachel?
Now we don’t think of “this” as conflict; we usually call it something else. We call it
“trying to make up the mind”
“I’m trying to come to a conclusion”
“I’m trying to do the right thing”
“I wanna figure this out.”
“I want to get the facts on the matter.”
You know, we got lots of beauties for it.
(That has a… glandular reaction.)
Yep. As long as you make it important that you’re gonna do it. Now if you really wanna do the right thing, you’re in conflict, aren’t you? Now if you would never have a conflict or have to make up your mind about anything, you'd be without conflict already – you didn’t have two “I’s” fighting over it, would you? At least two. You’ll always be spontaneous, action at every moment, and how often do you do that? You always have to think about it, don’t you, Darrol? Okay, now you’ve been in that state so long, you think of it as being normal.
(That’s right.)
Just because it’s usual, you say it’s normal.
(That’s right.)
Okay. Now you’ve always been in this state that were everything you did, you had to think about it a while. Is that conflict, sir?
(That’s me!) (he laughs)
Well, it’s been you… you’re goin’ this way and you’re going this way. You’re… one “I” says “Go… don’t take off from the restaurant when it’s really making you a living.” And the other one says, “Well, after all, it’s more worthwhile to find out somethin’ than it is to run the restaurant.”
(Exactly.)
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. (laughter)
(Exactly. That’s right.)
That get with ya?
(Yes.)
Is there conflict then?
(Well, I hadn’t recognized it…)
Well, no, because we’ve lived in it all of our life lives and we take it for being “natural.” But do you see that there was two voices talking about it, is that right?
(Is there a way I can see that for the demon it is – that conflict? ‘Cause I–)
Well, just stand off and watch that there is at least two ways of arguments about almost anything you do.
(No, okay… I’m back.)
Huh? You stand out there and watch it; and one of ‘em says, “Well, you should burn the threads on the floor and the other one says, “Oh, no, don’t take time to burn it – yank the thing out.” Now what do you do? [chuckles] Do you see it? But it’s constantly…. there is two attorneys arguing ever point and trying to get I, to judge, to take one or the other, is that right? So you’re constantly being suggested to. Is that right now?
(Yes, sir.)
Okay. Now that clarify it?
(That's death.)
That’s what?
(Death.)
Well, sure… it’s just being down there and being kicked around by these things in here – mechanical. You got two sets of programming in the same computer and you throw a problem at it, what do you think the poor computer will do?
(Will smoke up.) [chuckles]
What do you do? [chuckles]
(But I’ve never recognized that.)
I know that. But I said we’ve done it all of our life so we take it as being normal and I'm gettin’ along fine. That’s one of those not-I’s that says, “Well, this is the way it’s supposed to be. It’s human nature!”
(Otherwise you’d be bored.)
Right. If one of ‘em says, ”Well, this is human nature,” one says, “Well, that’s what you really are, a problem solving machine. After all, everybody has problems.”
(You can’t win.)
No, you can’t win.
(It has no matter –)
No, there’s no winning of this. So you can only stand off and watch this commotion going on. But you see, they all tell you, “This is the way it should be.” One says to deny and to keep it asleep says, “Well, don’t wake up; we’re taking care of everything – everybody has problems.” Hmm?
....
From Dis-identifying Roswell 1972 cd 3 - mp3 available
* There is a complete belief list at The Place of Language in the Teachings under the title of THE LANGUAGE OF THE THINKING MIND
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